Bottled water

Stories like this always amuse me, in part for stating the blindingly obvious and in part for ignoring the blindingly obvious.

If you pay any attention to anything, you pretty much already know that the brands tested–Dasani and Aquafina–are bottled by Coke and Pepsi, respectively. And if you know anything about anything, you already know that neither one is anything other than bottled tap water.

But these articles always have to quote someone who’ll tell us what idiots we are for buying the stuff. Here’s the Chronicle‘s “expert”:

“We’re falling for something we shouldn’t be falling for,” said David Assmann, deputy director of the San Francisco Department of the Environment, paper cup in hand. “You really can’t tell the difference.”…

“People buy a lot of things they don’t need,” he said. “I wouldn’t call bottled water a swindle, exactly, but it’s certainly something people are paying for without getting any benefit.”

Forgive me for going juvenile, but thanks, Assman, for telling me what I already know: I’m buying water. In a bottle. And, OOOOOOH, I’m paying for something I could get from the tap! But I’m not getting any benefit? None at all?

I’m happy, Assman, that you, Cocklad, and Wonder Tit always have the forethought to fill up a water bottle before you leave the house so that if you get thirsty while fighting crime, you’ve got fresh water handy.

Me? I drink from the tap at home and at work. It’s chilled, filtered tap water, but it’s tap water all the same. But when I’m out around the city, I don’t want to hassle with carrying a giant water bottle around, so when I’m thirsty, I just find a street vendor and buy a bottle. There’s the benefit. I buy it on the street so I don’t have to schlep it around.

I’m not a fucking rube, Chronicle. The only problem I have with it is that I’m buying yet another plastic bottle that’ll probably wind up landfilled. Otherwise, I know what my buck-twenty-five is buying me: 16 oz. of bottled tap water, and guess what? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s